


Letters to Christine: Road Trip

by Lbilover



Series: Letters to Christine Series [4]
Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lbilover/pseuds/Lbilover
Summary: The family goes on a road trip to a water park. Elijah's POV.





	

Going anywhere with three children is a major production, even if it’s a road trip to a water park a couple hours drive away. Elijah can’t get over the sheer amount of _stuff_ the girls find it necessary, no essential, to bring with them. He and Sean somehow manage to find room for it all, get Bella into her car seat between her sisters, and finally they are off. They’ve driven several miles when Bella announces that her favorite teddy bear isn’t in the car, and she starts to cry. So Sean sighs, turns the car around, and Elijah runs back inside the house to get it. He hands the whimpering toddler her bear, dries her tear-streaked cheeks, and rejoins Sean in the front of the car.

“Sorry,” Sean apologizes ruefully when they are underway again. “I don’t know how it happens, but something important gets forgotten every time we go anywhere.”

“I don’t mind,” Elijah says with perfect truth, tucking the damp tissue into the front pocket of his jeans. How could he mind? Each moment he spends with Sean and his daughters is precious beyond belief. He loves them with every atom of his hungry soul, loves them so much that it’s a physical ache, an ache that at times is almost beyond bearing. Sean, Alexandra, Elizabeth, Isabella: his family. For that is how he thinks of them in private, as his family. The first family he’s ever had. 

In the backseat, Allie and Lizzy start to squabble over which DVD they should watch on the minivan’s built-in TV. Elijah smiles to himself as Sean mediates the dispute with his usual unfailing patience. They settle on _Wall-E_ , Allie puts it in the DVD player, and peace reigns once more. He is such a good father, Elijah thinks. Allie, Lizzy and Bella have no idea how lucky they are.

It’s late June, hot and humid even at this early hour, and Elijah is glad of the cool air streaming from the dashboard vents. He stares out the window at the shady, somnolent streets, remembering the intense heat of New York summers that had radiated from the sidewalks and streets even at night, and turned the subway tunnels into stifling, smelly sweatboxes. God, but that seems a lifetime ago.

_Put on your Sunday clothes,_

_There's lots of world out there_

Elijah has seen _Wall-E_ any number of times now, as it’s one of the girls’ favorite movies. He loves the movie, too, and can totally relate to Wall-E, lonely and alone, doing his best to cope in a ruined world until he meets his Eva and finds purpose and meaning in his life. But the song from _Hello Dolly_ always strikes him as ironic, because he wants the exact opposite of the character who sings it. Not the slick town full of sparkle and shine, but the town he sees slipping past the car window. A quiet town of tidy suburban houses with neatly mowed front lawns, colorful flowerbeds and sprinklers arcing sprays of glittering water back and forth. A town as far from adventure and perfumed nights as could be.

The houses on the other side of the window look almost exactly like the ones in the TV shows he used to watch as obsessively as Wall-E watches _Hello Dolly_. Inside those houses lived families, happy families with kids whose moms weren’t strung out on crack and who knew exactly whom their dads were. How he’d envied those kids. If he could have stepped right through the TV screen into the magical worlds they inhabited, he would have, even though they would never have welcomed someone like him into their happy, uncomplicated lives.

But now in a sense he has stepped through the TV screen, and being inside one of those houses, being part of a family that lives inside one of those houses, is even more magical than he’d ever imagined. Inevitably his eyes shift away from the view outside the car and come to rest on Sean, the person responsible for all the miraculous changes in his life, the person who listened to every ugly truth about Elijah’s former life and still let him stay, the person who believed in him when no one else ever had, the person who now owns Elijah body and soul, and always will, even if he never knows it.

Sean in his baggy khaki cargo shorts, sandals and Hawaiian print shirt looks ordinary enough to all outward appearances, certainly compared to the men Elijah had known in New York with their three thousand dollar suits, three hundred dollar haircuts, and custom made Italian leather shoes. But heat pools in Elijah’s belly as he watches those capable hands on the steering wheel and recalls how they’d felt on his skin that long ago night. He wants to feel them again. Wants it with an intensity he would never have believed possible. 

His daydreams had never encompassed a sexual relationship because he couldn’t imagine wanting one, not after years of being used as a vessel for other men’s fantasies. Sex had been many things to Elijah in the past: an escape, a tool, a weapon, a power play, and ultimately a means to an end. He’d turned his body on and off at will, and as soon as they were gone dismissed the guys who fucked him from his mind. But he can’t dismiss Sean from his mind, or the memory of that desperate encounter on the sofa—the first time any man had breached the sheltered core of Elijah’s being that had remained untouched through it all, the first time he’d understood that sex didn’t have to be about using others. 

Which, Elijah thinks now, is more than a little frightening because it hadn’t been his name on Sean’s lips when they had sex, it had been Chris’s. Sean had been drunk and missing his dead wife, and it is foolish, no, insane, to think that he will ever come to want Elijah like that. Oh, he can arouse Sean—the small demonstration of his ‘talent’ that he’d given Sean in the kitchen on St. Patrick’s Day proved that. But the very thought of repaying Sean’s goodness by using a hooker’s tricks on him sickens Elijah. No, those days are over and done, and if all he and Sean ever share is that one time, he’ll be happy. What he has now is already so much more than he deserves.

As if he can feel Elijah’s gaze like a physical touch, Sean glances over and says, “Everything okay? You seem kind of quiet.”

“Yeah,” Elijah replies, smiling. “Everything’s fine. I was thinking how peaceful and beautiful it is here. I used to go walking sometimes, just by myself I mean, in Central Park. It was kind of like this, you know? So green with all the trees. Sometimes I could almost imagine I wasn’t in New York at all, but out in the country.”

There’s a certain expression Sean gets when Elijah tells him things about his past. It’s hard to describe exactly, because it seems to be made up of a variety of emotions—sadness, pity, anger. Elijah wants to say, “Please don’t be sad for me, Sean. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.” But he doesn’t, because he’s afraid he won’t stop there, and he’ll end up revealing too much.

Sean’s mouth tightens, but he only says, “Wait until you see it in the fall, Elijah, when the trees change color.” He makes a visible effort and summons a laugh. “Of course, then we’ll have to rake up all the falling leaves, but it’ll be worth it.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” Elijah softly replies. The warmth pooled in his stomach spreads through his entire body. _Wait until you see it in the fall, Elijah_ , Sean has said, as if there is no doubt in his mind that Elijah will still be living with them, still be a part of the family. 

It seems like a dream.

~*~

They arrive at the Big Splash water park just as the gates are opening and _Wall-E_ is ending. The water park is completely contained within a huge glass building that has a retractable roof, wide open on this cloudless summer morning. Elijah has never been to an amusement park of any kind in his life until today. He’s embarrassed to admit it, even to himself, but he suspects he’s more excited than the girls. 

Sean had ordered their passes ahead of time, so they bypass the growing lines at the ticket booths, and head straight to the changing rooms to put on their swimsuits. Elijah’s light blue trunks are borrowed from Sean as he doesn’t have a pair of his own. They are slightly too large at the waist, so he pulls the nylon ties as tight as he can and knots them. In his old apartment, there had been a huge walk-in closet crammed full of the designer clothes that had been necessary for a high-class escort. But he wouldn’t trade these swim trunks for anything he’d left behind. 

After changing, they deposit their belongings in a rented locker, and the family disperses. Sean takes Lizzy and Bella to the slides designed for younger children, while Elijah goes with Allie, who leads Elijah to one of the more adventuresome slides, the Scallywag Scuttle. The water park slides all have piratical names, like the Jolly Roger Jet and Silver Beard’s Revenge. The ‘yo-ho-ho and a barrel of rum’ theme is campy as hell, but Elijah loves it.

Seeing that many of the inner tubes are shared by two people, he’s a little regretful that he won’t get to share one with Sean, but it’s impossible to feel regretful about anything once he’s shooting like a bullet down the Scallywag Scuttle, adrenaline pumping and a shriek even louder than Allie’s flying from his throat. When it’s over, he lies in the warm chlorinated water of the plunge pool laughing his ass off. But an impatient Allie, her long blonde braid dripping water on his nose, grabs his hand and says, “Hurry up, Elijah, let’s get on line again!” 

Before long, his legs ache from running up stairs, there’s water clogging his ears, chlorine burning his eyes and he’s hoarse from screaming. It’s fucking awesome, and he can’t get enough.

Time passes in a blur, until Sean and his two youngest daughters come looking for him and Allie, and drag them away to have lunch. Elijah is surprised to discover that several hours have passed, and he realizes that he’s famished. 

Over burgers, fries and shakes, Elijah listens to Lizzy and Bella’s excited, almost incoherent, account of their experiences on the different slides. But even as he’s listening, Elijah can’t help but notice how wildly Sean’s damp hair is curling, and how green his eyes look, and how his drying swim trunks mold his muscular thighs. Once or twice he senses Sean’s eyes on him, but he knows it doesn’t mean anything; it’s just Sean being Sean, checking on Elijah to be sure he’s okay. Inevitably some bumps and bruises are gained in the pursuit of fun.

When they’re all done, Sean and Elijah gather up the grease-stained burger wrappers, fry containers and empty cups, and carry them to the trash bins. 

“You look like you’ve been having a good time,” Sean observes. “I’m glad. You deserve some fun in your life, Elijah.”

“Sean…” Treacherous tears prickle the backs of his lids, and Elijah can’t go on. 

Sean’s eyes move to the scar on Elijah’s forearm then away. He gives Elijah an understanding look and touches his shoulder. “It’s okay,” he says gently. "Now let's go. The fun isn't over just yet."

The entire family piles into a raft for the Lost River ride. The gently winding ‘river’ throws nothing more challenging at them than unexpected sprays of water, and the girls raptly follow the unfolding tale of Uncle Lee Wally and his ragtag crew as they search for buried treasure. Sean, ever the history teacher, can’t refrain from pointing out numerous factual errors and anachronisms in their story. Allie rolls her eyes and says, “Oh Daddy, it’s just a water park ride!” and Elijah has to admit she has a point, although personally he never tires of hearing Sean’s voice. He could read the phone book and Elijah would happily listen.

“You ready to shower and change?” Sean asks when the buried treasure is at last found, and they’ve disembarked from their raft. “We should be hitting the road soon.” 

As much fun as it’s been, Elijah has to agree. Lizzy and Bella are starting to get tired and definitely a little cranky.

“But you didn’t get to go on any of the big slides,” Allie protests.

“That’s okay, honey,” Sean replies. “I don’t need to.”

Allie, however, as Elijah has come to realize over the months, can be both obstinate and irresistible when she chooses, and right now she chooses. 

“Yes, you do,” she reiterates stubbornly.

“I can stay with Lizzy and Bella,” Elijah offers. “Allie’s right, Sean; you can’t leave without going on at least one of the big slides.”

“ _I’ll_ stay with them. Elijah, _you_ go with Daddy,” Allie instructs in a firm, no-nonsense voice. 

And so Elijah, with a bewildering sensation of having just been caught in a whirlwind, finds himself climbing the stairs to the Scallywag Scuttle one last time—behind Sean. His heart starts beating faster with excitement despite himself. He’d wanted to share an inner tube with Sean; well, thanks to Allie, he’s getting his wish.

“You know,” Sean remarks over his shoulder with a small laugh, “sometimes Alexandra reminds me so much of Chris.”

Elijah isn’t sure what to answer; it’s rare for Sean to mention Christine in a light-hearted manner. But before he can decide, they’ve reached the top, where a flotilla of colorful inner tubes waits. He hesitates, wondering suddenly if Sean intends for them to go separately, and then Sean says, “Come on, Elijah, let’s get in.”

A young man in a navy polo shirt with a ‘Big Splash’ logo holds the yellow inner tube steady while first Sean then Elijah climbs inside it. If Elijah’s heart had been beating fast before, now it is racing like a runaway pony, and not because of the near vertical drop at the start of the ride. He settles down in a puddle of water, his legs extended on either side of Sean’s, and rests his hands lightly on the solid warmth of the body in front of him. With difficulty, he resists the urge to slide his arms around Sean’s waist and move close enough to relieve the sudden ache in his groin.

“Ready?” the young man asks, bracing for the shove that will send them on their way.

“We’re ready,” Sean says. “Hold on, Elijah!”

There’s a sharp push, the inner tube gets caught up in the flow of water, and they’re off. Both let out a yell as they plummet downhill, the inner tube rapidly gaining speed as it rockets along the slide. Elijah’s resolution not to hold Sean too tightly doesn’t survive the first hairpin turn; he wraps his arms around Sean’s waist and holds on for dear life. Even though he’s been on this particular slide half a dozen times already, it’s still exhilarating beyond belief, a breathtaking, dizzying descent to the rushing and roaring of the water that flies around them, and the primal screams torn from their throats.

But above and beyond the exhilaration of the ride is the exhilaration of being pressed up against Sean, bare wet skin on bare wet skin. It’s a cheat, of course, for their closeness has no meaning to Sean, but Elijah doesn’t care; for as long as this wild ride lasts, he can pretend Sean is his. 

He holds Sean even tighter, rests his cheek against his bare back, and wishes it could go on forever. 

It doesn’t, though; all too soon the inner tube flies out of the chute and into the churning waves of the plunge pool, where it upends, dumping them headfirst into the water. Elijah flails, rights himself, and staggers to his feet. He wipes the streaming water from his eyes and giggles like a fool. 

“Oh my fucking god, that was fucking _awesome_ ,” he exclaims to Sean, who is already on his feet and securing the inner tube before it floats away. He holds up his right hand and Sean high fives him like a football player after a successful touchdown.

“It was,” agrees Sean, grinning as he pushes the sopping hair off his forehead. “Totally awesome.” He huffs a laugh. “I was screaming like Fay Wray—did you hear me?” Then he gives Elijah the once over and the grin widens. “You look like a drowned rat, Elijah,” he teases.

“So do you,” Elijah says, although secretly he thinks no such thing. Runnels of water snake through Sean’s dense mat of chest hair; Elijah follows them with his eyes. He’s only sorry that the view ends at Sean’s waist, where the trail of hair disappears beneath the waistband of his navy swim trunks. 

Sean flips the inner tube over and they begin slogging through the hip-deep water toward the steps that lead out of the pool.

It’s probably just as well, Elijah thinks. The girls are waiting for them right by the exit, and there are what seems like a zillion other people around. But that’s okay, because he now has the incredible memory of that shared ride to rewind and play over in his mind as often as he wants, and he knows that he will never forget a single second of it.

~*~

“There’s a farm stand a few miles down the road,” Sean says as they pull out of the parking lot. “One of the other parents was telling me that they have fantastic homemade ice cream there. How about we stop and get some?”

A chorus of enthusiastic approval from the backseat greets this suggestion. 

“Ice cream it is then,” Sean laughs.

The farm stand turns out to be two buildings separated by a dirt parking lot. The ice cream is sold from a small clapboard hut painted a bright canary yellow, while the fruits, vegetables, pies and breads are housed in a renovated barn. Unsurprisingly on such a hot day, there’s a line of people waiting to buy ice cream, but that’s all to the good, Elijah thinks. He knows from past experience that it’s going to take a while for Allie and Lizzy to settle on what they want, especially with such a wide variety of flavors to choose from. Bella is easy; it’s a small dish of vanilla for her. Sean’s youngest daughter is nothing if not decisive about what she will and will not eat.

Predictably, Lizzy changes her mind several times before settling on Cotton Candy ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. Allie goes for the Strawberry Cheesecake, Sean takes Pistachio, and Elijah tries something called Espresso Fudge Pie.

There are half a dozen wooden picnic tables set under the overspreading branches of two large oak trees, and they carry their ice cream to an empty table and sit down gratefully in the shade. The ice cream melts rapidly in the heat, and Allie and Lizzy giggle as they chase stray drips with their tongues, trying to catch them before they reach the bottom of their sugar cones—with mixed success. Elijah, watching, is glad he thought to grab some extra paper napkins from the metal container on the counter. They’re going to need them. 

He concentrates on his own cone, trying not to stare too noticeably when Sean starts licking melted pistachio ice cream from the tips of his fingers. The Espresso Fudge Pie is as good as any ice cream he’d ever had in the city or anywhere else for that matter, rich and creamy with a perfect balance of coffee and chocolate. It’s almost enough to distract him from what Sean’s doing. Almost.

Bella, who has been gradually sinking against his right side like a listing ship, yawns and says, “All done, Lijah.”

Elijah takes the half-empty Dixie cup and plastic spoon from her and sets them on the table. Then Bella climbs onto his lap and nestles into him, soft and warm as a sleepy kitten. Within seconds, her eyes are closed and she’s sound asleep. Elijah snugs one arm around her middle, just to be on the safe side, and bends to kiss the top of her blonde curls. She smells faintly of chlorine and baby shampoo, and of that ineffable scent that small children have. That scent and the precious weight of her sleeping body in his arms rouse every protective instinct he possesses. Into Elijah's mind flashes an image of Kim, frail, battered and bruised. Kim, whom he'd loved and wanted to protect but failed, because he had been too young and too powerless to keep from her harm.

 _I will never let you be hurt, Bella,_ he silently promises her. _Never. I’ll die first._  

For a long moment, he remains that way, with his head bowed and his eyes closed while he breathes Bella in. Then Allie says, “Elijah, your ice cream is melting all over the place.”

Elijah raises his head with a jerk. He finds himself staring straight into Sean’s eyes; what he sees in those hazel depths causes the bottom to drop out of his stomach and his heart to clench almost painfully hard. 

He’s seen that look before.

~end~


End file.
